"Did you know they're going to stop break time for ever?" "Who told you that?" "Everybody's saying it."
Rumours travel fast in a classroom. Most are harmless, some worry children, and a few hurt someone. Each one is also a ready-made exercise in critical thinking. This article gives your child three questions to ask before believing a story, and one more to ask before passing it on.
How a story changes on the way
Start with a game. At the dinner table, whisper a sentence to the person next to you: "On Saturday Grandma is bringing a green cake with seven candles." Each person whispers it on, once only. The last person says it aloud.
The sentence that arrives is rarely the one that set off. And nobody lied. Details were dropped, misheard or filled in with a guess.
That is exactly what happens to "someone said". Along the way, "maybe" turns into "definitely" and "one day" turns into "for ever". A child who has laughed at the whisper game understands this much better than one who has only been told.
Three questions before believing
1. Who said it? "Did the teacher say it, or did somebody say that the teacher said it?" The aim is to follow the story back towards where it started.
2. Did they see or hear it themselves? There is a big difference between seeing something, hearing about it and guessing.
| What your child hears | What kind of information it is |
|---|---|
| "I saw the new slide in the playground." | Seen with their own eyes |
| "My friend says her brother saw it." | Passed along twice |
| "Everybody says so." | Nobody knows where it started |
| "I bet they're going to…" | A guess |
3. How could we check? Ask the teacher. Read the school notice. Go and look. Wait until tomorrow.
Sometimes there is no way of checking yet. Then the honest answer is "I don't know yet", and that is a perfectly good place to stop.
One question before passing it on
Believing a rumour is one thing. Repeating it is another, because now your child is part of the chain.
The question to teach is: "Am I sure, and could this hurt someone?"
If your child isn't sure, there are two good choices: say nothing, or say honestly what they know. Four small phrases do a lot of work here:
- "I saw…"
- "I heard…"
- "I think…"
- "I'm not sure."
"I heard there might be a new teacher, but I don't know if it's true" is a very different sentence from "We're getting a new teacher!"
Practising at home
- Seen, heard or guessed? Say sentences about family life and let your child sort them. "I saw the cat on the sofa." "The neighbour says it will snow in July." "I bet the bus will be late." Then ask how each could be checked.
- Be curious, not suspicious. When your child brings a story home, go through the three questions as detectives, without making fun of the friend who told it.
- Do it yourself, aloud. "I read that the pool is closed on Monday. Let me check before we make a plan."
| Rough age | What to try |
|---|---|
| 5–6 | The whisper game; "Did you see it, or did somebody tell you?" |
| 7–8 | The three questions; saying "I saw", "I heard", "I think" |
| 9–10 | Following a story back to where it started; finding a way to check |
| 11 and up | The same questions for messages and things seen online, looked at together |
Ages are only a rough guide, and every child is different.
When the rumour is about a person
Stories about a classmate are different from stories about break time. Even a small one can hurt.
A simple family rule helps: we don't pass on things about people that we wouldn't say in front of them. If a rumour is upsetting your child, is about your child, or is leaving someone out, talk to the teacher. That isn't telling tales. It is asking for help with something too big for children to sort out alone.
In Dologi, "Who lives where?" puzzles in the Logic topic give a few clue cards, and children place each character using only what the cards really say. It is good practice in separating what we know from what we only suppose.
In short
- Stories change as they travel: play the whisper game to see it happen.
- Before believing, ask: who said it, did they see it themselves, and how could we check?
- Before repeating, ask: am I sure, and could this hurt someone?
- For rumours about people, don't pass them on, and involve the teacher when someone is being hurt.
Read more: How do you know? Teaching children to look for evidence