"That's not fair! His piece is bigger!" Few things matter more to a young child than a fair share. That strong feeling is a great starting point for two kinds of thinking: the maths of sharing equally, and the bigger question of what fair really means.
Sharing equally means everyone gets the same amount. Sharing fairly means everyone gets what is right for them, which is sometimes the same and sometimes not. Talking about the difference helps children count, compare and reason, all at the same table.
Sharing equally: the maths part
Equal sharing is one of the first kinds of division children meet, long before they see the ÷ sign.
- Deal it out. "One for you, one for me, one for Grandpa…" Dealing one at a time is the simplest way to share equally, and it works for grapes, cards or toy cars.
- Check it. After sharing, count each pile together. Are they the same? How do you know?
- Compare pieces. With food that's cut, like a pizza or a sandwich, put the pieces side by side or on top of each other to see if they match.
- Talk about leftovers. Share 7 biscuits between 3 people. Each gets 2, and 1 is left over. What can we do with it? Cut it into three, save it for later, or give it to someone else? Each idea is a good bit of thinking.
"You cut, I choose"
A simple rule settles many arguments between siblings: one child cuts, the other chooses first.
The child who cuts knows the other will take the bigger piece, so they try very hard to make the pieces equal. It turns a quarrel into a careful measuring task, and children usually accept the result because the rule is the same for both.
When equal isn't the same as fair
Once children understand equal sharing, you can explore situations where equal and fair are different. There's often no single right answer; the conversation is the point.
| Situation | Equal | Fair? |
|---|---|---|
| Dinner for a toddler and a teenager | Same size portions | The teenager probably needs more food |
| One child needs glasses | Everyone gets glasses | Only the child who needs them gets them |
| Help with homework | Same minutes for every child | A younger child may need more help |
| Tidying up after a game | Everyone tidies the same amount | Maybe whoever made more mess tidies more |
Ask your child: "Here everyone gets the same. Is that fair? Why or why not?" Listen to the reasons more than the conclusion.
Questions to think about together
These questions work well at dinner or on a walk:
- "If two of us did all the work on the garden, should everyone share the strawberries equally?"
- "Is it fair that babies don't have to tidy up?"
- "If there's one slice of cake left and three people want it, what's the fairest way to decide?"
- "Is taking turns a fair way to share something you can't cut, like a swing or a game?"
Different family members may disagree, and that's fine. Hearing other people's reasons teaches children that fairness can be looked at in more than one way.
Ideas by age
- Ages 4–5: deal out snacks one by one and check that piles match. Use "you cut, I choose" with an adult's help.
- Ages 6–7: share amounts with leftovers and decide what to do with them. Start talking about when equal isn't fair.
- Ages 8 and up: discuss trickier questions about fairness, and connect sharing to division and simple fractions.
In short
- Equal means everyone gets the same; fair means everyone gets what is right for them.
- Practise equal sharing by dealing out, checking, comparing pieces and handling leftovers.
- "You cut, I choose" turns arguments into careful measuring.
- Talk about situations where equal and fair are different, and listen to your child's reasons.
Read more: Teaching fractions to children: start by sharing a cake