You're sorting socks by colour, and halfway through you say, "Now let's sort them by size." Some children switch happily. Others get stuck, keep sorting by colour or feel upset that the game has changed. The same thing happens when a planned trip to the park becomes a trip to the shop, or when a friend changes the rules of a game.
Being able to switch between ideas, rules or plans is called flexible thinking. It's one of the key thinking skills that help children learn, solve problems and cope with everyday surprises. This article explains it simply and shares games and phrases that help children practise switching.
What is flexible thinking?
Flexible thinking means being able to:
- Change rules: sort by colour, then by shape.
- See something in a new way: a box can be a car, a house or a drum.
- Change plans: "It's raining, so we'll play inside."
- Try another strategy when the first one doesn't work.
It's part of what psychologists call executive function, the set of mental skills we use to manage our thinking. Like the others, it develops over many years and varies a lot between children. Some days are harder than others, especially when a child is tired or hungry.
The switch-the-rule sorting game
You need cards or objects that differ in two ways, for example red and blue circles and squares.
- Sort by one rule: "Put all the red ones here and the blue ones there."
- Announce a switch: "Now a new rule! Circles here, squares there."
- Watch what happens. Many young children keep using the old rule for a while, even when they can say the new one.
- Switch back and forth a few times, slowly at first.
- Let your child call the switch for you, and make an occasional "mistake" so they can catch you.
Many children find this tricky around age 3 or 4 and much easier by 5 or 6, though every child is different. The point isn't speed; it's noticing that the same object can belong to a different group when the rule changes.
Everyday changes
Real life is full of small switches. A few phrases can help:
| Situation | Instead of… | Try… |
|---|---|---|
| The plan changes | "Stop complaining." | "That's disappointing. What could we do instead?" |
| A game's rules change | "Just play." | "Let's try the new rule for one round, then decide." |
| A strategy isn't working | "Try harder." | "Is there another way we could try?" |
| A friend wants something different | "Do what she wants." | "Can you find a way that works for both of you?" |
Warnings help too: "In five minutes we'll change to bath time." Transitions are easier when they're expected.
Games that practise switching
- Opposite day: in a "do what I say" game, the actions are reversed: "Touch your head" means touch your toes.
- Silly rules: add a twist to a familiar game. In snap, you only call when the cards are different.
- How else could we use it? Pick an object, such as a spoon, a scarf or a box, and take turns finding new uses.
- Category switch: name things that are red, then switch to things that are round, then things you can eat.
- Change the ending: tell a well-known story and stop halfway: "What if the wolf were friendly?"
Keep these games short and playful. Laughing at mistakes is part of it.
Praise the switch
Children learn what we notice. When your child adapts, say so:
- "You changed your plan when the tower fell. That was flexible."
- "At first you were upset about the rain, then you found a new game."
- "You tried a different way and it worked."
If change is hard for your child, acknowledge the feeling before moving on: "You really wanted the park. It's hard when plans change." Feeling understood often makes switching easier. If your child struggles with change a lot and it affects daily life, it's worth talking to a teacher or doctor.
In Dologi, "Guess the rule" puzzles ask children to work out which rule a set of things follows, and the rule is different from one puzzle to the next, a gentle way to practise letting go of the last rule.
In short
- Flexible thinking is the ability to switch rules, ideas, plans or strategies.
- Play the switch-the-rule sorting game, going back and forth between two rules.
- Use calm phrases and warnings when plans change, and look for "what could we do instead?"
- Play games with reversed or silly rules, and praise your child whenever they adapt.
Read more: What are executive function skills? Three skills that help children learn on their own